Abbeyrd's Journal

A slash with Dhani and Julian.....Valotte, seven chapters long enjoy. Abbeyrd62561
Hi all figured since I've been gone for a while I'd post my latest story. Valotte, a slash with Dhani and Julian, guest appearances too....and comparisons to George and John too. I hope you guys enjoy, let me know. Sorry, have had family emergency so I am just slowly getting back after 3 months. So here it is.....take care Sue

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Hi all figured since I've been gone for a while I'd post my latest story. Valotte, a slash with Dhani and Julian, guest appearances too....and comparisons to George and John too. I hope you guys enjoy, let me know. Sorry, have had family emergency so I am just slowly getting back after 3 months. So here it is.....take care Sue
<LJ-cuttext="Valotte">
VALOTTE

BY ABBEY RD ( MAXISILVERHAMMER)

Chapter one

I don’t own the Beatles, or their families. This pure fantasy fan fiction, from my warped mind…………

Julian sat down on the floor by the door of the flat he had been renting. He looked around at how empty it was. The floors were shiny and bare, no furniture, only the bags he hadn’t shipped back home yet, and his guitar. He never went anywhere without it. His jean clad figure leaned back against the wall as he sat; his head tilted further, a curve formed from his shoulder to the tip of his head. He closed his eyes feeling the loneliness, only seeing the face that he saw in the mirror of his mind. He wondered if that face would still be there for him? Whether, one day they could get it together and fit the way they had seemed to for the short time they were together, or if they’d just drift apart. He could see that face everywhere, as his heart broke. He thought they were stronger then this. He had hoped they wouldn’t let the world break them. But as it always did, the world seeped into their quiet space, and had ripped them apart.

He remembered coming back to London and renting the flat. He knew what it was like to lose a famous father. Julian remembered how apart him and his dad had been. When he got older, John’s girlfriend or Yoko would encourage a relationship between the two. Just before John’s death, the two got closer. Julian and John would play guitar, John even had him play on his Walls and Bridges Album. Just as they were growing together and working things out, John was again taken from him, this time permanently. He knew the pain of losing a famous father. A father who, with three other men, had built the foundation of the music and art the world knew today.

His mum watched helplessly as Julian struggled with his identity He had tried music and was always compared to his dad. He felt the expectations of the fans pushing him towards his three famous uncles. They said he played, wrote, and sounded like John. Would he play along with his famous uncles for a reunion? He couldn’t get away from it. It tangled him up in a web in which he couldn’t see his way out of. He wanted to be recognized for himself, and not for the fame of being John Lennon’s son. Like a spider ready to eat the fly, Julian sat entangled in the fame that was partly his dad’s, as the press and fans ate him alive. He finally had to jump off and lose himself in the world. The only thing that kept him going was the closeness his mum and him always had. She stood by him as she always did, much like she had with his dad. Cynthia pushed him up whenever he fell, just as she did when he was a child.

He had empathy for his younger friend, who also had just lost his famous father. The only thing was that Dhani and George were close. Close the way Julian had wished him and his father were. He came to London for the memorial service and didn’t get Dhani alone until after George’s ashes were spread in the waters of India.

The phone rang, bringing Julian out of his memories. He slowly got up, and answered it.

“Hullo?” Julian didn’t know who could be calling him.

“Julian, it’s mum. I called to see how you are and when you’re coming back to Italy?” She asked trying not to sound worried about her grown son.

Julian knew she was, she could never hide it from him.

“Soon mum. I’m waiting for the limo now. It will be here in an hour or so to take me to the airport. I’ll be back at my flat tomorrow. I have a flight out of Heathrow in about five hours.” He tried to sound as if nothing was wrong.

He didn’t convince Cynthia. She knew her son all to well. She thanked God they were so close. Close enough to talk about something as sensitive as his feelings for Dhani.

“Have you spoken to Dhani?” She ventured.

Julian leaned against the wall. Looking down at the empty wooden floor, he tapped the tip of his sneaker against it. He watched the marks he made as he felt the warm wetness run down his face.

“No, I haven’t since he went home to Olivia,” He sniffled. Bloody hell he thought as he did. Julian didn’t want Cynthia to worry anymore then she was and he knew she heard him.

Cynthia could see Julian in her mind. He was probably leaning against the wall, kicking his shoe at the floor, trying not to let her know he was crying. He was so much like John, she thought, as she pictured him. He looked and acted so much like John. Thank God he had inherited her compassion and temperament.

“Luv, why don’t you come stay with me for a few days and get yourself together. His mum needs him and you know that. I would really like to see you.” Cynthia wanted to help him, be there as she always had. Her arms ached for her only child. Even if he was 38, he was still her baby.

Julian turned and rested his forehead against the wall. His head ached with throbbing pain, as he continued his conversation with his mom.

‘Thanks mum, but I think I should go home and get to work. Mark is waiting to finish up some songs. ….” He stopped suddenly. Who was he hiding from? The women who knew him better then anyone? The women he asked repeated questions about his father too? She knew how lost he had been for years. How he had the desperate need to find out about the father he had only just started to get to know.

“Mum, I’m sorry…………I ….I do hurt…..I just feel like I am going backwards again. I thought I found myself for a few years there. Now, I’m doubting myself again. I mean I’m not going to do anything stupid like before, I’m passed that sort. It’s just so painful and I wish……….I just wish is all.” He hung his head; brown hair fell into his tear filled eyes.

“Oh Luv, do come here and go home when you’re feeling better.” Cynthia begged.

Julian heard the front door open and then close again. He swiped the tears from his eyes and wiped his sleeve across his nose, “Mum, I just heard the door. It might be the limo driver. I have to go. I’ll call you when I get home and maybe I’ll come by for a week or so. I’ll see. “ He didn’t know why the limo would be there so early, or why the driver would walk right in. Maybe he forgot and gave the wrong time, he thought.

“Alright, take care of yourself Jules. “ She told him quietly.

‘I will mum.” Julian was ready to hang up the phone when he heard her call to him.

“JULIAN?” Cynthia yelled so he wouldn’t hang up the phone.

Julian put the phone back to his ear, “Yeah, mum?”

“I love you so much.” She said reaching out to him.

“I love you too. Cya soon…….and mum….thanks.” Julian heard his heart tell her.

He reached up and hung the phone back in its holder, while still resting his forehead against the wall.

Julian heard footsteps coming towards the back room where he had been talking. He tried in vain to pull himself together. He turned to see a shadow coming around the corner of the room.

VALOTTE

CHAPTER TWO

BY ABBEYRD (MAXISILVERHAMMER)

I don’t own the Beatles or their families. This is purely fictional fantasy from my warped mind…..

Julian straightened up and craned his neck to see who was coming around the corner, to the back room. He saw black trainers, jeans and the bottom of a dark long coat. He knew it wasn’t the limo driver. He strained his eyes to see who belonged to the long coat. The person walked closer; slowly Julian started to recognize this person. He was shorter and stocker then Julian, with brown hair that reached his collar. His face was full, with round soulful eyes. Julian caught the twinkle of light that shone off of his earring. He walked in the room, his lips tightly pressed into a small smile. He placed a cup down on the kitchen island counter that sat in the middle of the room. Julian’s face formed a slight sideways smile as their eyes met.

“Were you gonna leave without a so long or even a hello? Here I bought you some tea.” The man took off his coat and draped it across the far side of the counter. He walked around and drew Julian into a tight hug as he patted Julian’s back.

“Well, if it isn’t Zak Starkey as I live and breath.” Julian let out a small chuckle.

“Well, Julian Lennon is it? “ He released him and placed his hands on either side of Julian’s shoulders. He held him there and looked him over, “Aren’t you one of those famous Beatle kids?” Zak laughed; it was a joke between all the Beatle’s children.

“I think so yeah. Aren’t you also one of those kids? Y’ know the son of the drummer from the Beatles?” Julian laughed lightly. He hadn’t laughed in awhile and it felt good, as good as seeing his close mate. He needed to see someone he trusted as much as he did Zak. They were only a few years apart and were close growing up. They had grown apart lately, partly because of Zak’s touring schedule and partly because Julian had been so busy.

“Naw, I’m the famous drummer now, from that band, The Who.” His smile grew as he drew Julian in for another hug and then let him go, “You, aren’t in good form mate. I’ve seen you lookin better. Here drink some of this tea. Mum always told me not to go to someone’s empty flat empty handed.” He looked around at the empty place. He then picked up the cup of tea and handed it to Julian.

Julian sipped it. The warm liquid felt good running down his throat. When had he last drank or ate anything? He couldn’t quite remember. He scanned the man that stood before him. Zak looked good. He was always one of the more adjusted children from the famous group. The only other ones who seem to handle the pressures as well were Dhani, Mary and Stella.

“Thanks for the tea. What are you doing here? I’m leaving shortly.” Julian pulled himself up onto the counter against the window.

“I just got off from tour. Sarah told me you were leaving. She heard you were here and spoke to your mum,” Zak put his arms up, “ So here I am.”

“Sarah; how is she and Tatia?” Julian asked.

“Sarah is great. Sixteen years we’ve been married. Can you believe it? And still I love her. Tatia, she’s in school and playing the piano of all things. She’s well, thanks. “ Zak laughed, and thought about how long he had been with his wife and how much they still loved each other. He thought about his teenage daughter and what a good kid she was. He was lucky, truly blessed, and only wished his friend could be as blessed. Julian had had some bad breaks when it came to love. He remembered some of the girls Julian had introduced him to. Some were models, or famous, and some weren’t famous at all. Yet, none of them seemed to work out for his friend.

“Good to hear that one mate. I’m glad things are working out so well for you. How are Lee and Jas?” Julian thought about how Lee had just had another battle with cancer.

Zak nodded and pulled himself up on the island counter, facing Julian, “Lee is over the radiation. Doctors seem to think she’ll be all right, and that the cancer is gone. I hope so. I don’t mind saying that this last time really had me. All I could think about was mum,” He exhaled and then went to the next part of the question, “ Jas, will always be Jas, y‘know him. I’m glad the two of you aren’t running around getting pissed in every pub anymore.”

Julian remembered how horrible it had been when Maureen died, and then to have Lee battle cancer twice was a lot for the family. He had been there for them, along with his mum. He then thought about how Jas and he would carouse every night and go to any pub that would put up with them, when they were younger. He also remembered how he’d have to clean up after Jas, or carry him home by the end of the night.

“Y ‘know he joined dad in AA. He’s still sober, for a while now. If you came around more lately you’d know this Jules. You used to call or visit all the time. You haven’t the six months or so. I spoke to your mum and she told me you were doing good, so I don’t understand why I haven’t heard from you over the past six months or so.” Zak’s brow rose and his head tilted as he waited for an answer.

.

Julian wondered if Zak knew how much he looked like his dad, especially now, with the face he was making. Then again, everyone told Julian how much he looked like his dad at times.

He sighed loudly, “Yeah, sorry bout that one. I’ve been workin on my website and more music with Mark and a few other things. Then I came here. Mum, keeps me up on the things she knows and I always mean to call. Wait a sec, I did once and I caught Sarah. She said you were on tour. I didn’t speak long with her, she was on her way out.” He leaned forward, his palms laying flat on the counter holding the weight of his upper body.

Zak stared at him for a moment and then started talking again, “ Yeah, saw Heather in Arizona on this past tour. Her pottery company went bust and Uncle Paul had to bail her out, but you know that already. She still keeps to herself, but looks good. I stayed there one night. Sarah and me went and saw Mary, Alistair and the baby, Arthur, cute he is. Saw Stel too, working hard as ever. Didn’t catch up with James. I wanted to. We always say we’re gonna jam and we haven’t in some time. I saw your brother too, when I was in New York. Heard his band, pretty good, they are. I see he’s still with that stunner of a girlfriend. He seems happy.”

“He is happy. I spoke to him last week; of course I had to go through the dragon lady to speak to him. Funny, she puts on such airs so Sean thinks she likes me. Guess I do the same for him, I mean he is my little brother and I’d do anything for him. So I’m nice to the woman, for his sake, only.” Julian gave Zak a cagey smile.

“Yeah, sometimes you have to in order to have a relationship. I saw her too. She has always liked me. It’s me dad y ’know, she thinks the world of him and Barb.” Zak chuckled at the thought of the dragon lady and how he and Julian would make rude comments about her. Usually after the few times Julian came home from being aloud to visit his dad. Then after John had died the comments were more then rude and Julian stated publicly how they didn’t get along. All the Beatle children muddled through different problems in their lives. Zak knew people that weren’t famous that had just as many problems. The only difference was that a child of a Beatle was news and so their problems were scattered all over the papers for the world to see.

Julian smiled as he thought of the all the Beatle kids. They were more like cousins then friends, “ James worked on Uncle Paul’s album. Co-wrote a few songs too. They’re pretty good. I saw them a few weeks back. Y ‘know I’ve always been close to Paul. I asked him about this Heather he’s seeing. He loves her can you believe it? She’s so much younger then him,” Julian thought of the age difference between him and Dhani and then quickly added, “Bloody hell, age doesn’t matter much does it. I mean as long as you’re happy, and he seems it.”

Zak had a feeling why Julian had made the comment about age not mattering in a relationship. They had covered every one of the kids and had conveniently skipped over Dhani. He had heard from Sarah that something had happened between Dhani and Jules. He just didn’t know the extent of it. He figured he’d just come out and ask Jules. After all they had shared so much of their lives with each other over the years. They had always been there for each other and had always been honest about things. He felt uncomfortable, but this was his dear friend. He always seemed more like a brother to him then a friend.

Zak leaned forward, closer to Julian. Their eyes met, Julian turned away. He just couldn’t handle the questions in Zak’s eyes. He figured he knew what those questions were.

“Jules, look at me man, I need to talk to you.” Love and concern mixed together in Zak’s voice.

Julian looked forward to Zak; he pushed his hair away from his forehead, and waited for the dreaded subject. He swallowed hard, as fear flush through him, “What do you need to talk to me about?” He asked, trying to hide his fear deep inside of him.

“I heard something happened between you and Dhani. We’ve always told each other everything, so don’t push your feelings deep inside like you do. You know you always complained about how your dad did that and how you seem to do it too. I want to know what happened, and the whole truth. We’ve always had that connection, no matter how we felt about what we did. I’m here for you, but I need to know.” Zak assured him.

Julian’s mind reeled with hearing what his mate had just said. Yes, it was true, they always shared everything, no matter how bad or good it was. Only now, Julian wondered what his good mate would think of him. Would he really listen and stand by him? Adrenaline, rushed through his veins, as he shook from the thought of telling him. He had told his mother and that was bad enough, and now to tell someone else, his mate, his brother? His mind clouded with the fear, he felt sick and his heart pounded along with his head. His stomach tightened up and he lean to the sink as he dry heaved into it.

Zak watched with worry. He slid off the counter and went over to Julian. He watched as Julian spit into the sink, and then cupped his hands to get some water to wash his mouth out. Zak saw Julian’s ashen face, his shortness of breath and the sweat that washed over him.

Zak looked around and picked up some napkins from the tea. He wet them, “Here, wipe your face down. You’re off colour.” He wondered just how serious this was for Julian to have a physical reaction to his question. He rubbed Julian’s shoulder and gave him a minute to collect himself.

“Better?” He asked with concern.

Julian nodded, “ Slightly. Ta for the napkin. Sorry bout that.” His head fell downward with shame.

“Nothing to be sorry about Jules. This is obviously driving you stark raven. Something big happened for you to react this way,” Zak again stroked Julian’s shoulder and ran his hand down Julian’s back, rubbing it for reassurance.

Julian’s mind raced. Zak had been away on tour and couldn’t get back to attend the memorial service for uncle George. Memories began to flood his brain, the same memories he had tried to lock away. He remembered how it began, how he came back to London to be there for the service with his mum, for Dhani and the family. Hot tears started running down his face as the now unlocked door opened to a movie that his brain played for him of the last few months. He started to tell Zak as he watched it scene by scene.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Julian Lennon

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